


Lovely

by Kay_Ghetti_Ohs



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots, Twenty Øne Pilots - Fandom, joshler - Fandom, tøp
Genre: AGH, Cancer, Depression, F/F, F/M, I love him, I promise, Josh is sick, M/M, Maybe a happy ending, Mentions of Suicide, Mesothelioma, Sadness, Self Harm, but hes cool, i won't kill him, im probably gonna cry not gonna lie, its sad, joshler - Freeform, maybe a sad one, my writing is really bad but like, nurse Tyler what's not to love, who knows what the future holds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:28:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9563195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kay_Ghetti_Ohs/pseuds/Kay_Ghetti_Ohs
Summary: Sorry guys, it's a sad one.  Josh has cancer and well.. yeah. PROBABLY GONNA CRY WRITING THIS TBH. You should read it and show me some love, muah! There's gonna be tons of fluff, and tons of depressed Josh so be ready for that. Anyyyyways IM BAD AT SUMMARIZING SOOO.*insert cancer cover by tøp**insert flowing tears*





	1. stay

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, I'm writing another story. This one is gonna be depressing, and my other one is gonna be the happier one. If you're not into this kind of stuff, then I recommend just not reading.   
> I'm kind of making up most of the story as I go along, so if I decide to do something like a major character death or anything, i will add it in the tags. kisses <3 ~

 

  
Josh stared at the ceiling. _beep_. He thought about what it would have been like if none of this happened. _beep_. He thought of his parents. _beep_. He thought of his siblings. _beep_. Did Ashley pass her exams this last semester? _beep_. He thought of the girl with strawberry blonde hair that came to see him three times a week. _beep_. He thought of the IV in his arm, which had been a source of fluid for home the past four days. _beep_. He thought of the beeping machine beside him, representing the beat of his heart.

But most of all, he thought about dying. Josh would give anything to die right now.

He'd stopped eating, which is why he now had the IV draining fluids into him. He'd stopped talking, hoping maybe if he acted like he didn't exist then he really wouldn't.

He was forced to talk on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. The girl with strawberry blond hair would come in and ask him questions; Usually along the lines of "how do you feel?", "how are your treatments going?", and "are you okay".

All of said questions made Josh want to throw up. All of said questions were nauseating. All of said questions were _not_ things you asked a cancer patient.

When the girl diagnosed him with depression, she gave him one of those looks and put her hand around Josh's forearm 'soothingly'. "It's okay to feel this way,Josh" she had said. "Depression is a side effect of cancer."

Depression is not a side effect of cancer.

Depression is a side effect of dying.

And thats what was happening to Josh. He was dying.

He was diagnosed with plural mesothelioma 3 months ago. Basically, some place that Josh went had asbestos in the air or whatever, and because he had to like,y'know, _breathe_ (!), his trusty lungs decided to form some cancer cells.

It was unfair really. Josh hadn't done anything to deserve this. Maybe it was for getting his tattoo, maybe it was for dying his hair, maybe it was for taking Hayley's crayon back in grade one. God was unfair. Life was unfair.

When he was diagnosed his life expectancy was 10 months. He's undergone radiation, two surgeries, chemotherapy, more radiation. And the tumours would be gone for a while, just long enough to gain hope. Then they would grow back, twice as bad.

Sections of his pleura had been removed in the surgeries, and the tumours were always cut out too. He was sure his lungs looked like a half done jigsaw puzzle by now, and more surgeries were sure to come. He didn't know why his family didn't just pull the plug with him. He didn't know why they just wouldn't stop trying. They'd stopped coming to visit him, so he couldn't be that important anymore, could he?

Josh's family's last visit was three weeks ago. At first it was every day that they would come, usually after Jordan, Abby and Ashley got out of school; that way they could tell him about their days. The number of visits slowly dwindled, from every second or third day to once a week to once every two weeks to what it was now.

Josh understood that his parents had jobs, and had three other children to take care of, and bills to pay(including his hospital bills), and had lives. Which Josh was jealous of. He'd been in this hospital for 3 months. That's a long time. Often, he got lonely. He wanted a life. He wanted his life back.

Josh's days before were filled with school, and adventure, and his girlfriend, and his friends, and his siblings, and his music, and his _drums_. _God_ , how he missed his drums.

Josh's days now looked like this:   
Wake up.   
Stare at wall.   
Decline breakfast.   
Get worked on by nurses.   
Look for something on tv,and fail.   
Stare at wall.   
Nap.   
Talk to Dr.Black(on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays).  
Decline lunch.   
Stare at wall.   
Attempt to read, and fail.   
Stare at wall.   
Decline dinner.   
Stare at wall.   
Go to sleep.   
Repeat.

Sounds fun, hey? And so that's what Josh was doing at the moment, staring at the wall. His thoughts were dismal, like they always were nowadays.

He waited for his nurse, Gina was her name, to bring him his breakfast(which he wouldn't eat). The IV in his arm took care of fluids and nutrients, what was the point of eating?

Instead of the middle aged woman with greying hair,Gina, a young man with brown hair and brown eyes (basic) walked in. He was wearing navy scrubs, but that's not what Josh payed attention to, what caught his eye was this mans shoes. They were what looked like cons, with a floral print. What in the world was this guy doing wearing shoes like that? Yet somehow, they suited him.

Josh stopped looking at the man and went back to staring at the wall.

"Hey there, uhhh..," the man looked at a clipboard at the end of Josh's bed. "Joshua! Hey there, Joshua! My names Tyler, and I'm gonna be filling in Gina's spot here at the hospital. Looks like we're gonna be seeing a lot of eachother!" Josh scoffed. The man's-Tyler's- voice was too excited, too happy.

Josh hated it. How could he be so happy? _How could he be so happy?_

He continued to stare at the wall and heard Tyler set down the tray containing his food. He also heard the nurse humming a tune he had never heard.

Tyler did all the things Gina had done; take his blood pressure, take a blood sample, put down a glass of water, set up the table with his breakfast, adjust his bed so it was sitting up, and change the date on the small whiteboard in the corner of the small room.

Except he did one thing that Gina had never done; he hummed. The whole way through. And josh stared at the wall, the whole way through.

Soon enough Tyler was done all of his tasks, and was supposed to leave. Key word: supposed.

Rather than leaving, the man sat in the chair beside Josh's bed, which nobody had sat in for weeks. Josh pretended he didn't notice and kept staring at the wall. One crack, two cracks, three cracks, four, and so many more. Five, eight, eleven,-

"So what do you do for fun around here?" His cheery voice made Josh want to puke. Josh didn't acknowledge him, hoping if he didn't pay attention to the nurse, maybe he would leave. "You don't talk much, do you?" Josh scoffed and continued counting the cracks of the wall; 12, 16, 17-

"Well. That's okay! I can do the talking for the both of us!" Josh's head snapped towards the other man and his voice was dripping with bitterness, "Don't you have other things to do?"

Tyler's smile dropped for a second, obviously taken aback by the bitter tone. As quickly as it went away, his smile was back, and he laughed a short soft laugh. "Actually, no. You're my only patient." Josh turned back towards the wall and started counting again, "Well I don't want you here."

Josh heard Tyler get up, and saw him walk towards the door in his peripheral vision. "Well that's okay. I respect your decision. I'll be back to see you tomorrow!" And with that, the happy man left Josh alone with his thoughts, staring at the wall, counting the cracks.

\-----------------------------------

  
It had been a week since Tyler started Gina's job. Josh wanted Gina back. Gina wasn't this happy. Gina didn't try to talk to Josh. Gina let him be. But Tyler? Tyler did the opposite.

Every day he would come in, happy, ecstatic. He would hum tunes Josh never heard, they were pretty sounds. It was hard to admit, but Josh actually _enjoyed_ the man's humming. It was the closest thing he had to music.

So Tyler would go through his routine, humming, and Josh would stare at the wall. Once Tyler was done, he would go to the door, say "See you tomorrow!", and then leave. And Josh would wait impatiently for the day to end, so that at 9:00 the next morning he would be able to see that brown hair, those brown eyes, and hear that beautiful humming.

So that's what Josh was doing, waiting. He heard the noise of multiple people's shoes scuffing the hallway floors outside of his tiny room. Mornings were always the noisiest, people were always ready for the day. Evenings were the quietest, because everyone is drained. Long days full of depressing cases of children and young adults with fatal diseases; that tires somebody out quickly.

The door opened and Josh saw floral print shoes enter his room and walk towards the bed on which he was laying.

"Good morning Joshua. Let's see what's on the menu today." The nurse set down a plastic tray and removed the lid, revealing a platter of eggs, hash browns, some type of meat (possibly ham?), toast, and a fruit cup. On the tray also sat a glass of milk and a glass of water.

Josh looked at Tyler's facial expressions as he set the table beside Josh. His look of concentration was cute. Not puppy cute, and certainly not baby cute, but a special kind of cute. A Tyler cute, Josh supposed.

"It looks tasty, but I'm guessing you're still not wanting to eat?" It sounded as if Tyler cared for him, the tone of voice he said that in. Josh frowned and stared at the wall. He heard Tyler grumble a short, "Thought so." which took Josh by surprise. He'd never heard Tyler say anything in a un-cheerful way.

Maybe that's what Josh did.

Maybe Josh made people un-cheerful.

He looked back towards the brown haired man and noticed a small white earbud in one of his ears, attached to a cord leading down into one of his pockets. It's been so long since he'd heard music.

Josh attempted to say something, his voice cracking after not being used for so long. Tyler's attention was now on Josh, a surprised and...hopeful? look in his eyes. Josh cleared his throat and tried again.

"Are you listening to music?" Tyler looked embarrassed and quickly pulled the earbud out, "Sorry,it's unprofessional I know, but I just wanted to listen to something I was working on last night and I just kind of didn't think about how bad it seems to be listening to something at wor-" "No- No. It's okay. I was just.. Something you were working on?"

Josh was intrigued. This nurse made music?

"Oh. I uh- I make songs sometimes."

Josh knew that this was a totally inappropriate thing to ask, but he just really wanted to hear a rhythm again, hear a beat. "Could I..." he gestured to the earbud in the nurses hand, and Tyler looked confused. Then his eyes lit up and he walked closer to Josh's bed.

"You want to listen?" A nod. "Oh..Well..I don't really show people my songs, they're not very good. But uh..yeah! You can totally listen!"

Tyler took the earbuds and his phone out of his pocket, and stood awkwardly close to Josh. He handed Josh the earphones, which were a pale white. Just like everything else in this hospital room.

Josh raised his arm weakly to his head and put one of the buds in his ear.

"It's kind of, like, personal.. and.. yeah." After Tyler said that, the sound of a piano flowed into his ear and sounded throughout his head.

_'here i come,_  
come to you,   
in the very clothes,   
that i killed,   
killed you in and,  
now i know im alone.'

The voice was clearly Tyler's, there was no mistaking it.

_'i walk to you,_  
rain falls from you,  
can you wash me?,  
can you drown me?'

The verse sunk into a rap that was so unique, Josh didn't have the words to describe it. It was almost as if Tyler just needed the words out, so he said them very fast and doing that sort of formed a rap.

The lyrics were deep. They made Josh feel, which Josh hadn't done for 3 months.

As the song faded to an ending, Josh blinked. And Tyler scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"I know it's not very good. My music teacher wouldn't get me be on choir because my voice sucked so bad, she was totally right though. I just kind of need some way to release thoughts and i guess that's why I make them into songs, they really aren't that good though, I never planned on showing anybod-" "it was actually good. really good."

Tyler blushed at Josh's words and took back his earbuds, wrapping them around his phone. "Thank you."

After that it was silent, Tyler continued his routine:taking Josh's blood pressure, taking a blood sample, etc. And Josh continued to stare at the wall, thinking.

How could somebody so happy write a song that sad? _How could somebody so happy write a song that sad?_ Then he came to the realization that this man certainly was not happy. Tyler did what many others did, he hid his pain with fake happiness.

Josh wanted to change that.

Tyler was done his tasks and was walking towards the door, carrying the tray of food that Josh didn't eat. "I'll see you tomorrow, Joshua."

"You could stay..?" The statement came out as more of a question, and Josh felt a tinge of embarrassment.

Tyler definitely wasn't expecting that, Josh could tell. Never the less, Tyler set the tray down on a cart in the hallways and entered the room again, closing the door behind him.

He walked to the chair beside Josh's bed and he stayed.

_He stayed_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me a while to write, and it wasn't even writers block! nope, guess what it was? STUPID SHITTING EXAMS. i got 63% on my math exam. fuck. me. at least i passed? ANYWAYS, heres the chapta.

"How do you not like them though? They're fluffy and cuddly and cute!"

Josh was not going to lie;the way Tyler drew out the 'u''s in his 'cute' was in fact cute. Josh was sitting in his hospital bed, as per usual, and Tyler was situated in the chair beside Josh's bed. The chair had been pulled up very close to Josh's bed, and Tyler sat comfortably cross legged in the sparsely padded armchair.

"They remind me of bananas. And I hate bananas."

"Okay, I hate bananas too, but, how the HELL do pandas remind you of bananas?!" Josh giggled at Tyler's seriousness, before shrugging. "I don't know, don't they eat bananas?"

Tyler glared at Josh and made a mock offended face, hand held on his chest. "How dare you, Joshua? Pandas are bears not monkeys!"

"You're so dramatic sometimes."

The two smiled at eachother and fell into a comfortable silence, the sound of the T.V playing some sitcom in the background. Josh didn't really pay attention to the lame movie, he'd rather admire the handsome nurse next to him.

He watched as Tyler laughed at something on the television screen, noticing everything about the mans features. The way he got dimples when he laughed, and how his eyes wrinkled the slightest bit. How his eyebrows raised and his forehead got little distinct lines. How he had a tiny bit of stubble from not shaving for a few days.

Josh noticed himself doing that a lot now. Paying attention to the little things. Apparently that's what dying does to you; it makes you appreciate every small aspect of everything.

"Call me Josh."

"Pardon?"

"Josh. Call me Josh."

"Okay, Josh."

Josh stared at walls a lot less these days. Now he could stare at Tyler. It'd been two weeks since Josh offered Tyler to stay, those fourteen days were possibly the greatest days of Josh's life at the hospital.

His talks with Dr.Black were mostly about Tyler now. There was the often talk about his family, if he missed them, or if he would like to call them, which Josh always declined. He didn't want to disturb them.

So Josh spent time with Tyler, and when he wasn't with the brown haired boy he was talking about him, or thinking about him, or dreaming about him. Josh wasn't obsessed with the man or anything, he was just the only friend Josh had right now. The only person in his life besides Dr.Black and the doctors and surgeons in charge of his radiation/chemo/surgeries.

Josh glanced at the nurse once more. Josh wasn't obsessed with him.

"Did you make any more music?"

Tyler smiled and grabbed his phone, the white earbuds attached to it already.

"Actually,yeah. Well..kind of. It's just like...the sounds of a song. Like the..uhhhh..." Tyler stumbled over words, searching for the correct one.

"Instrumentals?", Josh offered.

"Yeah! That!"

He handed Josh his phone, which Josh took gingerly. Josh put in one of the earbuds, and Tyler put in the other. The nurse clicked on a file titled "Two" on his phone and pressed play, then closed his eyes as the music started.

Josh was going to close his eyes too, he really was, but then he saw the content look on Tyler's face and he just wanted to stare at it. Maybe if he stared at him long enough, his image would be branded in his mind.

The instrumentals were something along the lines of fucking sick and shitting cool. There was no other way to put it. They were sad, like everything else Tyler created, but they had this feel. This completely...Tyler feel.

Josh decided at that moment that Tyler was his favourite artist.

\-----------------------------------

Josh woke up from a nap, feeling pretty strong. That was saying a lot, ever since Josh was diagnosed he felt weak; like every breath wasn't enough, like his body wasn't oxygenated. But today, it was different.

As he opened his eyes, and they adjusted the the light, he heard a clicking sound. He tilted his head towards the sound, and saw Tyler clicking a pen, a notebook resting in his lap.

"Morning, sleepyhead." Tyler said, putting his notebook on the small end table beside Josh's bed.

"What's that?" Josh inquired, gesturing towards the notebook Tyler had set down.

"It's a song book. I write down lyrics and chords in there whenever I'm inspired." As the nurse said that, he rested his hand on Josh's thigh. Josh's breath hitched. Tyler's _hand_ was on his _thigh_.

Shakily, Josh let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. "Do you get inspired at work often?"

"Well.." Tyler started, his hand trailing up Josh's thigh to his abdomen. Josh was breathing heavily. He looked into Tyler's eyes and saw a glint of...he didn't know. A glint of something.

"You inspire me, so considering you're at my work, I'd say yes." Tyler's hand was now at Josh's hip, his finger feathering lightly on the skin that wasn't covered by his hiked up t-shirt. " _You_ _inspire_ _me_ , _Joshua_ _Dun_."

The next thing Josh knew, Tyler was hovering over Josh, kissing the boy. One of his hands were in Josh's faded blue hair, which had grown out over the past 4 months, creating a shitty looking ombré style. His other hand was still at Josh's hip, now gripping it slightly.

His lips were slightly chapped, and they tasted like mint and metal. Josh _loved_ it. Their lips moved together feverishly, almost as if they had been in the desert for weeks, and eachother's lips were the water they both needed desperately to live.

Josh moaned, and Tyler slipped his tongue into Josh's mouth as it opened. They battled tongues, swirling, poking, _tasting_. Tyler eventually won, and he roamed Josh's mouth, almost as if he were memorizing every crevice.

Josh involuntarily bucked his hips up into Tyler, which caused the brown haired boy to moan his name, " _Josh_...Oh-h. Josh"

" _Tyler_ "

" _Josh_.. Josh. Josh. Wake up. Wake up, Josh."

Josh startled awake, his body coated with a layer of sweat. Tyler sat beside him, his hand laying gently on top of his, a worried look in his eyes.

"Josh! Are you okay? Your heartbeat started getting faster, I didn't know what to do. I was about to get Dr.Way."

"What? Oh. Uh..." Josh blushed profusely. Moments earlier he had been kissing the man in front of him, and Josh's raging erection from the dream was not helping. "Yeah I'm okay" he stuttered out, not meeting Tyler's eyes.

"Are you sure?" The worrisome look made Josh's heart melt once again. "I'm fine, Tyler. I swear. Just had a dream that was..." Josh's words trailed off, he didn't know how to even describe the dream he'd had. How would that go? ' _The_ _reason_ _for_ _my_ _increased_ _heart_ _rate_ _was_ _my_ _dream_ _in_ _which_ _I_ _was_ _kissing_ _you_ , _my_ _nurse_ , _right_ _in_ _this_ _very_ _bed_.'

Josh had a feeling that wouldn't go well.

Tyler looked him up and down curiously, and Josh knew that the nurse was unsure what Josh meant by 'a dream that was...'. "Was it a nightmare?"

"No. No, it wasn't a nightmare." Josh knew he was being awkward. But given the circumstances, you know, having an erection in front of the nurse he's attracted to, awkwardness was bound to happen. He grabbed one of his many pillows and put it on his lap, hopefully not being too obvious.

That's one thing Josh was thankful for. Before his family had stopped visiting, they'd asked him what he would like from home. He'd requested clothes, a few movies, and some of his pillows. It was a girly thing about him; he loved pillows. He had at least 20. As a child, instead of collecting stuffies, he collected pillows.

They had only brought 5 of the pillows he'd requested, which was fine, but he'd prefer to have them all.

"OH MY GOD!" Tyler exclaimed, stifling giggles. He looked from the pillow, to Josh's face, and Josh was in terror. Did Tyler know? Oh god. _Oh god,_ he knew. "You had a dirty dream!" The nurse said it through giggles, and Josh blushed furiously and sputtered incoherently.

"Wha-Oh-Guh-Hmm?Nuh-Wh-"

Tyler wiped at his eyes, ridding the tears that had formed because of his laughing. "It's okay, Josh. Everybody has them." The nurse laughed once more, and Josh's blushing continued.

 _'Not everybody has them about their nurse'_ , Josh thought to himself.

\-----------------------------------

"Good afternoon, Joshua. How was your lunch?"

Dr.Black always started their sessions with small talk. It would be 'How was your sleep last night?' or 'I hear the forecast is beautiful weather for the next few days.' or 'How was your lunch?'

Josh hated it. He'd rather she just get straight to the point. That way, he'd be able to get out of there faster, and he'd be able to wait for Tyler to get off his lunch break.

Josh wasn't obsessed with him.

"My lunch was fine."

"That's great! Now, how are you lately, Joshua?"

"I thought I told you to call me Josh." He sounded bitter. He didn't mean to, it just came out that way. And, Josh hadn't _thought_ he told her to call him Josh, he _knew_. You can only tell someone something a certain number of times before you start getting angry.

"Oh, yes. That's right. Sorry, I must have forgotten." Yeah, sure. She must've _forgotten_.

"That's okay." If she forgot one more time, Josh was gonna drop kick her ass.

"So, Joshu-Josh," that was a close one. One drop kick, ready for order. "How are things with Nurse Joseph going?" Josh smiled at the mentioning of Tyler. Dr.Black wrote something down on her clipboard.

"Good. Really good." Things were going really good with Tyler. They had a chess tournament in the works right now, it had been going for two days. Currently, Tyler was beating Josh by one game, but Josh was gone make a comeback.

"I see you've created a...relationship...with him. Would you say it's a positive relationship?" Her voice was odd saying 'relationship'. As if she was disgusted almost. Josh wondered if she liked her drop kicks served hot or cold.

"Yes. Of course. How could it not be?"

"Just routine questions, Josh." Avoiding the question. Smart move, Dr.Black.

"Oh."

"So, have you heard from your family at all?" She knew _damn well_ that he hadn't heard from his family. She was informed of every phone call he got.

"No."

"That's a shame. How does that make you feel,Josh?"

"Can you stop saying my name in every fucking question?"

She rubbed at her forehead and sighed.

"Yes, okay. I'm sorry, Jo- I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

She scribbled in her notebook. Josh looked at the time.

"Are we done now?"

"Yes. Our time is up. I will see you again next Monday."

Josh pushed himself out of the over-cushioned cushion chair. He got light headed, and steadied himself on her desk. That's the problem about having shit lungs.

"Would you like some assistance, Josh?"

He took his hand off her desk and crossed his arms, walking towards the door.

"I'm fine, thanks."

\-----------------------------------

He stared down at his grey sweatpants as he waited for the elevator to come to his floor. He missed jeans. In the hospital you couldn't wear tight restricting clothing. Only sweatpants, or no pants at all. Josh preferred sweatpants.

The elevator dinged and a girl with reddish-orange hair walked out. She had a cute mouse like face. Josh wasn't attracted to women, but he realized when one was attractive. And this girl was attractive.

"Cool hair!" She said, with a huge smile on her face. Josh let out a laugh and shook his head. "Not really, I've got to dye it again."

She looked him up and down, if Josh didn't know any better he'd say she was checking him out. Though, Josh did know better. She was looking at what he was wearing, presumably trying to figure out why he's dressed in sweatpants and one of the blue patient tops.

"Are you a patient here?"

"Yeah."

She frowned a bit, a look of pity in her eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that. About your hair, just ask your doctor! If it doesn't have any affect on your health I'm sure he'd let you dye it."

"Thank you. I'll actually do that, yeah. What was your name again?"

She blushed and shook her head, embarrassed. "Oh gosh! Silly me, I forgot to even tell you! My name is Debby Ryan!" She said everything happily, and sort of reminded Josh of Strawberry Shortcake's dumb friend. Not in a bad way, obviously.

"Nice to meet you Debby. I'm Josh."

A man stood impatiently, holding the elevator door for Josh.

"Well I should get going. It was a pleasure to meet you, Debby."

"Ditto, Josh! See you around!"

He walked into the elevator, muttering a sorry to the grumpy man. He got a scoff in return.

\-----------------------------------

"Hey Tyler...?"

The brown haired man turned his head to Josh, a soft smile in his lips. He was always smiling, Josh noticed.

"Yes Josh?"

How was Josh going to ask this? ' _Am i a good patient_?' ' _Do you think you could enter a relationship with one of your patients?_ ' ' _Are you as deeply infatuated with me as I am with you?'_

"Do you like being a nurse?"

That works too.

"Well technically I'm not actually a nurse."

Josh raised his eyebrows at that. Was Tyler just a murderer that was preying on Josh? Helpless, cancerous, Josh?

"This is actually like, an internship thing that I got through university. Basically I get to work here April to October and I'll get a credit _and_ experience on how hospitals work. My mom and dad want me to be a doctor, so I'm working hard towards that."

Josh's dreams shattered. Tyler was leaving in October. This wasn't a full time thing. He's going to leave. This was not okay.

"Oh. Cool."

"I guess you could say that. I don't really want to be a doctor. I want to be a singer, yknow? Make music. Being a doctor isn't the _only_ way you can save lives. I want to give people the help and understanding that I never really had.." he trailed off, and Josh saw tears form in his eyes.

He coughed.

"Anyways, maybe it's a good thing I'm becoming a doctor. Maybe once I get my degree in a few years I can be your doctor."

Josh frowned. In a few years, he wouldn't be alive. His life was practically over, he was practically dead.

"I only have until November, Tyler. You know that."

"You don't know that. The radiation and chemo is helping."

Josh didn't know if it was the look of pity in Tyler's eyes, or the way his voice sounded like he didn't even believe it himself, but it threw Josh over the edge. He raised his voice.

"The radiation and chemo is sucking my life away!"

Tyler looked taken aback, as if he weren't expecting that reaction. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, unable to say anything.

"I think you should leave."

Tyler put his hand on Josh's. The act of affection almost made Josh smile. Almost. "I'm not going to leave yo-" "Just go. I don't want you here."

Tears formed in Tyler's eyes and he pulled his hand away from Josh's, getting up from the chair. He walked towards the door, and after grabbing the tray of untouched food, he left.

_He left._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helllooooooooo debby! btw, i don't hate jenna. she's amazing. but in this story, she's gonna be a bitch. #sorrynotsorry   
> got a problem? CASH ME OUSSIDE! jk im a wimp. 
> 
> omfg i just laughed hysterically bcoz like what if nobody even reads this and im like talking to noone like a crazy person? omfg what if i am crazy? SHANE DO A CONSPIRACY THEORY ON MEEE. lmaoooo. okay all jokes aside, if there actually is someone reading this, call 911 im like actually psychotic. OKAY JK DONT. 
> 
> OH. SIDENOTE!!! GUESS WHO'S FUCKING UKULELE CAME IN?!?! MINE. i am a ukulele genious. watch out, tyler joseph. im the new can't help falling in love STARRRRRR.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooo. story time! i stressed out so bad about school work that i gave myself a harsh cold, and now im bed ridden and unable to go to school which is really bad because im missing even more school so now im stressing even more about that, then just yesterday a person *cough* JARED *cough* made fun of my ADHD in front of a room full of people, so im stressing about that. oh, and im getting results on if im qualified for a stronger dose of anti-depressants so im stressing about THAT as well. ugh. it's a stressful life. 
> 
> lemme just ignore everything and smother my crippling depression with memes. (:
> 
> annnnyyyyyways, here's the chapter. it's pretty short.

The next morning Tyler didn't say a thing to Josh the whole time he carried out his tasks. He didn't say the "sorry!" when Josh winced from the needle the drew his blood, he didn't announce what was for breakfast (even though Josh never ate it), and he didn't speak about any new music ideas he'd come up with the night before. It was as if the last few weeks didn't happen. Everything of their doomed friendship had come crumbling down, far sooner than Josh would've ever expected. And it was all Josh's fault.

And so, as Tyler left after writing the date on the small whiteboard, Josh said nothing. He stared at the wall, counting the cracks.

\-----------------------------------

"Good afternoon, Mr.Dun. How are you feeling today?"

Josh shrugged. Dr.Way's voice was becoming scratchy with age. He was maybe 38, yet he had set wrinkles around both his eyes and mouth. Guess dealing with a bunch of teenaged cancer patients can do that to somebody.

"We're going to do the same as before. A fifteen minute chemotherapy session and then an hour of concentrated radiation on the remaining larger tumours. Does that sound okay?"

Josh scoffed. "It's not as if I have a choice, is it?"

Dr.Way frowned. "I suppose not."

There were three nurses in the room. Two of them were middle aged women. They both were there to help put the IV's in his arms, and to use medical terms with the doctor that Josh had heard several times but had no clue of what they were.

The other nurse was Tyler. He stood behind Dr.Way and viewed everything that the nurses did. As the doctor was setting up the drugs to put into the IV, he explained to Tyler which drugs that were being used for Josh's particular case. They were pemetrexed and cisplatin.

Tyler nodded to everything the doctor said, paying full attention to everything he said.

As Dr.Way finished explaining the process to Tyler, he turned his head to Josh. "Okay, we're going to start now. Nothing I can say can prepare you for this."

"I know." Josh did know. Absolutely nothing could prepare him for the unpleasant burning sensation that filled his veins, as the chemicals washed through killing cancer cells (and healthy cells). Nothing could prepare him for the instant fatigue that washed over him, making his head loll back. Nothing could prepare him for the pain of nausea instantly making him gag, lean over, and vomit into the the small disposal can beside the bed, making him regret that piece of toast he had for lunch. _Nothing could prepare him._

Chemo days were the worst.

As Josh finished throwing up, he tried to open his eyes. He failed, his face in a constant wince at the intense pain in his veins.

He could hear the two middle aged nurses leave the room to get another garbage can. He could also hear Dr.Way speaking in the background to Tyler, explaining the side effects of chemotherapy and what he should expect from Josh after the treatment session.

Josh couldn't pay much attention to the voices. His heart beat was the loudest thing, overpowering every other sound in the room; even the shrill beeping of the monitor beside him, counting his heart rate.

The feeling of bile rising up in his throat made him lean over the edge of the bed again, vomiting once more. He could just imagine how he looked at the moment; shitty ombré hair, bags under his eyes, a mix of vomit and drool hanging from his mouth, tears cascading down his cheeks.

He whimpered as the burning intensified.

Then, there was napkin wiping his lips and chin, and a hand comfortably rubbing his back. He cried even harder, letting out those ugly sobs that come from your gut.

"Shhhhhhhh. It's okay, Josh. It's okay," The hushing of Tyler's voice comforted him beyond belief. He didn't stop crying, but he knew someone was there to comfort him, and that was beyond enough to give him hope. "I'm here, Josh. It's okay. It will be over soon."

And it was. Within a few minutes the burning stopped. Josh opened his eyes and looked around the room. The two nurses returned with a larger garbage can, Dr.Way was standing at the IV removing the bag, and Tyler was sitting beside him on the bed, rubbing his back and holding a napkin which was used to wipe off his drool/vomit combo. _Talk about embarrassing._

"Good job, Joshua. You're a fighter." Dr.Way said as he took out the IV, putting the needle into a disposal box.

Josh didn't feel like a fighter. In fact, he felt like the farthest thing from a fighter. He closed his eyes, trying not to cry. "Can we please do the radiation tomorrow? I can't today.." His voice trailed off, cracking.

He hated the look of pity Dr.Way gave him. He hated it, hated it, hated it. It was a sign of Josh's weakness. A sign that Josh wasn't as strong as everybody said.

"Of course. I'm sorry this is so rough on you. It will get better. It will help."

Josh didn't believe a word of it.

\-----------------------------------

Tyler stayed with him after the session. He was still sat on the bed, hand on Josh's shoulder soothingly.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have left."

Josh turned his head towards Tyler. Was he really putting himself to fault on this? Oh _hell_ no.

"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have said those things, I basically forced you to leave. And I'm really sorry." Tyler tried to interject, but Josh continued. "Can I just talk?" A nod.

"I'm sorry that I've been so quick tempered with you. It's just-" He paused, taking a deep breath. "-ever since I got diagnosed I've been so _angry_. Angry with everything. I would ask myself continuously 'Why me?' and 'What did I ever do to deserve this?'. Y'know, like why would god do this to me?

And it wasn't as bad at first. The visits from my family helped me, they made me believe I wasn't going to die. I guess when they stopped coming it just settled in and I was like ' _Holy fuck_ , I'm actually gonna die.'

And since that point I guess I just pushed everyone away. A nurse would come in saying that a friend was here to visit, and I'd tell her not to let them come in. I stopped communicating with everyone. My days consisted of staring at walls and listening to doctors talking about my diagnosis. Everything was just so dull.

But then- _oh god this sounds so cheesy_ \- but then you came along, and you actually tried with me. You didn't give up. You were always talking, humming, buzzing around. Like a bee. You're a happy little buzzing bumble bee. Anyways, you tried with me, and I didn't know how to react. It took a while but we like...We created a friendship. And you were, you _are_ , so much different from everyone else. Not every conversation we have is about my sickness. You treat me like I'm normal.

Then you said that thing. About the radiation and chemo helping. And I just kind of lost it. I think it was because you sounded like everyone else for the first time ever. And I just didn't know how to respond to that, I didn't know what to do. So I freaked out and I pushed you away, and that was probably the stupidest thing I could've done.

You've done this thing to me, Tyler. It's like you...well- you've made me happy. Genuinely happy. You've made it so I don't want to die as much as yesterday, or the day before. You're like the silver lining of my fucked up cancer filled life."

Josh had close his eyes at some point in the speech, and when he opened them back up, Tyler his crying. Josh raised his hand, even though it hurt to move any part of his body, and he wiped the tear.

" _You're my silver lining, Tyler._ "

The nurse let out a shaky laugh and wiped at his eyes. He looked to Josh's eyes and smiled ear to ear. It made Josh's heart melt.

Tyler reached his hand towards Josh's and took it, intertwining their fingers.

 _This_ is where the duo's doomed friendship turned into a _little_ more than a friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	4. the kids arent alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had this written for like, two weeks, and i forgot to post it. oops. sorry i left for so long

With cancer, there's the good days, and there's the bad days.

Today was a bad day.

The only moving Josh did was leaning forward to throw up into the small disposal bin on his lap. Every part of his body ached, and his eyes burned when they were open.

Tyler was sat beside him most of the day, holding his hand.

Every time Josh drifted in and out of sleep, Tyler would be smiling, their fingers wrapped around eachothers.

Days after chemo were usually the bad days. Tyler definitely helped though. The nurse would wipe Josh's tears when he cried throughout the day. He would clean up the spit and vomit on his lips and chin. And he stayed close all day, not even leaving for his lunch break.

Josh opened his eyes, waking up from another nap. His eyes adjusted to the dim room, the only light coming from the moon outside, illuminating through the window across the room.

The time on the clock on the wall read 8:42 p.m.

Josh went to wriggle his fingers, when he realized there was a hand clasped around his. He looked down to his hand and smiled softly; Tyler was holding his hand, and his head lied on the bed next to Josh's midsection. He must've been uncomfortable, sitting crouched in the chair with his head resting on the bed.

Josh stared at Tyler's face for a few more minutes. He was fast asleep. His lips were parted and a small wet spot on the bedsheets was proof of his slight drooling. Josh knew he should've woken up Tyler as soon as he found him like that, but he just looked so peaceful.

The nurses face almost glowed, as if he was bioluminescent. His closed eyes and soft snore made Josh get this feeling in his stomach, like a trillion worms crawling around. It sounded disgusting, but that's the way he felt. And it felt _so_ _right_.

Josh chuckled a bit at his thought. _Wow, I really do like this guy._

Tyler yawned and rubbed his head into the bed more, seeming as if he was trying to submerge his head in the actual mattress. It was a few moments before he jolted awake and looked around the room, panicking.

"Where the fu-" Josh chuckled and Tyler looked down at the boy, obviously startled. "Oh. Josh?" He stared, puzzled, and Josh waited for the man to comprehend what was happening.

Tyler laughed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "I must've fallen asleep."

Josh smirked and looked down at the wet part of the bedsheets when Tyler had drooled. "Yeah, you were drooling too."

A deep shade of red covered Tyler's face and within seconds he resembled a tomato. He looked away from Josh and the bed, and bit his shoulder. It was an odd mannerism, but Josh completely loved it.

Without thinking the blue haired boy chuckled. "You're cute when you blush."

Tyler's face became an even deeper shade of crimson. He removed his hand from Josh's and stood up from the chair, stretching. Josh tried not to drool at the sight.

"I should probably go, it's a bit late." Josh frowned as Tyler finished his sentence and looked at the time. 9:14 p.m.

Tyler noticed Josh's downcast.

"Or I could stay...?" Josh's head perked up, confused.

"Stay? What do you mean?" Josh questioned. Tyler rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, looking anywhere but Josh's eyes. The boy admired it.

Tyler bit his lip- which, by the way, was really sexy- and a blush creeped up his cheeks. "I mean, I was just wondering maybe- uh I don't know."

"Of course you can stay. Where will you sleep though?" Hopefully in bed with me.

"In the chair." Tyler glanced down at the padded chair and back to Josh. "It's not as uncomfortable as it seems."

"You could always lay down with me.." Josh let the sentence hang in the air, covering his intense anxiety with a smirk. For gods sake, say something.

Tyler coughed and covered his face with his arm, trying to cover his blush. "Don't be silly."

Josh laughed. "I'm being completely serious, nurse Tyler." Josh hoped that sounded as sexy out loud as it did in his head.

Tyler's eyes shot up. He looked Josh up and down, his gaze rolling slowly down his body, then back up to his face. Without saying anything, he advanced the couple steps to the bed and sat next to Josh. Josh scooted over so that where was more room and lifted the blanket, inviting him under. Tyler gladly slid underneath of the blanket and rested his head on one of the pillows at the head of the bed.

"This isn't so bad, is it?" Josh asked, his voice quieter than he intended it to be. Tyler was so close to him. His body warmth radiated onto Josh, warming his cold skin. His face was only inches away from his; his lips were so close.

Tyler's eyes flickered back and forth between Josh's eyes and lips. "I shouldn't be doing this."

Josh licked his lips. Tyler shivered.

"What's so bad about this? I'm just lending you a place to sleep." Josh leaned his head closer to Tyler's. "It's late, and it's raining. Presumably unsafe to drive at the moment." Tyler let out a shaky breath as Josh leaned in closer, loving the reaction that the nurse was giving. "I'm doing you- us- a favour."

Tyler closed his eyes and bit his lip. "The things you do to me.."

Josh's eyebrows shot up nearly to his hairline. "The things I do to you?" He questioned, curious to see where this was going.

Rather than responding, the nurse closed the space between the duos lips.

The ceiling rained stars.

Tyler pulled back after a short three seconds, furrowing his eyebrows.

"This isn't even legal."

Josh mentally sighed.

"Tyler," the nurse looked up at his name, his eyes full of guilt, "I turn 18 in legit under a month. Plus, the legal age of consent in Ohio is 17." Josh's voice was as reassuring as it could be. He craved Tyler's lips, but he wasn't going to do something Tyler wasn't comfortable with.

Tyler considered Josh's words. "Legit under a month, hey?"

Josh nodded.

Tyler smirked. "Well, in that case.."

Their lips connected again, and it happened once more.

_The ceiling rained stars._

\-----------------------------------

Josh shifted awake from his sleep, yawning. He was about to stretch out his arms when he noticed the bed was weighed down considerably next to him.

Oh, right.

Josh smiled contently and glanced over at the brown haired man next to him. His hair was a mess; it stuck up in all different directions. A line of drool trailed from the corner of his mouth. He snored quietly. His chest rose and fell, and his eyes moved behind his eyelids, creating it obvious he was in the middle of a dream.

_Beauty._

Tyler mumbled something in his sleep, which caught Josh's attention. His lips were parted slightly and every now and then a small noise would come out.

"Josh..." A soft moan came after that, and Josh was almost turned on. His amusement took over the horny part of his brain.

"O-oh..Josh.." Again.

Josh laughed and leaned in, close to Tyler's ear. "Tyler." He said softly into the other boy's ear.

Tyler shot straight up, knocking heads with Josh. Josh grabbed his head and grumbled as Tyler hopped out of the bed and blushed profusely.

"God! Sorry. Jesus!"

Before Josh could respond, Tyler ran out of the hospital room, closing the door behind him.

 _Jesus_.

\-----------------------------------

Tyler walked to the front lobby of this floor, a blush still on his cheeks.

He couldn't believe what just happened. Tyler knew that Josh knew what kind of dream he had. He also knew it wasn't a big deal, but he was extremely embarrassed.

"Nurse Tyler!" Somebody called out his name, causing him to turn around. It was the therapist from two floors up, Josh's therapist. Her name was...Jenna?

"Yes?"

Jenna walked a few paces towards him. Tyler waited impatiently. He just wanted to clock in and go back to Josh.

She inspected his hand which was holding his security card. "I saw this morning that you didn't clock out last night." Her voice was suspicious and she ended in a way that her statement was heard as a question.

Tyler stuttered as he spoke. "I stayed with a patient last night." After Jenna eyed him, he continued with more confidence. "I totally get what doctors feel like working late now! I don't think I've ever been this tired before in my life!" He exclaimed. His words were laced with forced amusement.

Jenna reached past him and slid her card through the small device, clocking herself in. "You're taking this internship very seriously I see. You'll be a great doctor, many of the patients have grown a liking to you," Her voice slowed down and her words which were once soft captures the slightest bit of bitterness. "Especially that Joshua Dun."

Tyler decided he didn't like the way Josh's name sounded on her lips.

The nurse smiled and muttered a "thank you", then continued to rush through clocking in and getting back to Josh's room.

\-----------------------------------

"You've returned."

Tyler blushed as he sat in the chair beside Joshua. The boy with faded hair ate his scrambled eggs slowly with a huge grin on his face. Tyler noticed Josh was eating again, which made his stomach flutter with butterflies. He was trying to live.

_He was trying._

"Shut up, you bedridden egg."

Josh burst out laughing at the nurse's comment, letting out waves of a wonderful tone that Tyler could fall asleep to.

The boy gasped for air. His messed lungs not working well enough to handle the tummy sore-ing laughs, Josh sat up straight in his bed and clenched the sheets, trying to get his breath back.

Tyler was at his side in a second, rubbing his back calmly.

As Josh's breathing returned to normal, he giggled in a soft childlike way.

"You actually legitimately took my breath away."

 _Bliss._  
\-----------------------------------

"I miss doing backflips."

Tyler's head turned towards Josh as the younger boy spoke. Tyler thought before he replied, scared he would say the wrong thing. Scared Josh may have an outburst.

"If you get better you can do as many backflips as you'd like."

Josh neither smiled nor frowned. He continued to speak.

"I miss playing the drums too."

"You played the drums?"

Josh sighed. "Yeah."

Tyler sat up straight in his chair and grabbed Josh's hand excitedly. "We should start a band!"

The boy laughed at his enthusiasm. He admired his excitement.

"Okay, Tyler." He replied, smiling softly and closing his eyes.

The nurse went on talking about their band; name ideas, a record label, a band icon. Josh just smiled and listened, content at the moment.

"You could do backflips during shows! Like, flip off the drums. Wait no- that's unsafe. Backflip off my piano! Yes, yes, _yes!_ Oh, and we could do this thing where..."

Josh completely adored him.   
\-----------------------------------

It was a Monday afternoon. Debby surprised Josh by showing up with a bleach kit and hair dye, and the two were in the attached bathroom to Josh's room.

Josh quickly realized that Debby and him were meant to be friends. They talked carelessly about bands and theme parks and jello and pretty much everything in between.

"Thank you again, Debby. For doing this."

Debby smiled at Josh and continued to brush the bleach onto the boy's roots. "No problem! Your girlfriend is totally going to dig your new hair."

Josh coughed.

"I don't have a girlfriend."

She frowned and turned a lock of his hair over, brushing the creme onto the other side. "Did you? Like, before you got sick?"

"Yeah. She stopped seeing me because it was too hard on her."

She stopped her movements and scoffed. "You're the one with cancer and it's hard on her."

A bitter laugh escaped his lips, followed with a soft, "Yup."

Debby continued to massage the substance into his hair, distributing it evenly throughout the long part of his hair.

The door to the hospital room opened, followed by a confused 'hmm' and steps towards the bathroom door.

"You'll never believe what jus- oh?" Tyler was at the open door, talking to Josh when he noticed Debby.

"Hey, Ty." Josh smiled.

"Hi! I'm Debby. You must be Tyler." She smiled and held out her gloved hand, before realizing the bleach covering it. She grabbed her hand back and blushed lightly. "Sorry, bleach." She muttered, her face turning a soft shade of pink.

Tyler smiled warily and looked at the sight before him. "What are you two doing?"

Josh giggled, then sarcastically replied, "Skydiving."

Tyler rolled his eyes.

He stood awkwardly at the door, listening to Debby's soft humming as she put the last amount of bleach in Josh's hair.

"Well-" Tyler paused and stepped back from the doorway, "Have a good evening."

Josh frowned. "You're not staying?"

"I have a family thing."

Goodbyes were exchanged, Debby said she'd hope to see Tyler again, and then he left.   
\-----------------------------------

_A family thing._

Tyler kicked one of the many rocks on the sidewalk as he walked enroute his apartment.

Tyler lied. He didn't have a family thing. He didn't have anything for that matter. Just as soon as he saw Debby and Josh together, the way they talked effortlessly, the way their laughs echoed from the washroom, the way Josh was smiling with her.

It grated Tyler's nerves.

Only he could talk to Josh effortlessly. Only he could hear Josh's honey laugh. Only he could make Josh smile.

Not some _fucking_ Barbie doll. She didn't get to make Josh smile. That was Tyler's job.

Tyler kicked another rock. If he could, he'd kick himself. He was being immature. Josh could have friends, he could have a girlfriend.

Tyler hated to admit it, but he was jealous. After spending months with his lovely boy, some girl comes along and steals him. Weekdays were Tyler's days. Tyler had Josh Monday to Friday. _Deborah_ could visit him as much as she wanted on weekends, but weekdays. were. his.

His jealous mind continued to race as he angrily walked home.

Junkie by Freedom Fry (listen. to. this. song. oh. my. gosh)   blared into his ears through his earbuds. Ironic.

Tyler supposed this song really was about him. Perhaps he really was a junkie for Joshua.

Perhaps he was.   
\-----------------------------------

As soon as Tyler walked into his apartment door, he was surprised by his brother Zack holding his younger siblings, Jay and Madison.

Tyler put his keys in the basket next to his door, confusion in his eyes as he eyed Zack's tired eyes.

"Zack? What are you doing here?"

The slightly younger boy put down Madison and adjusted his hold on Jay, putting the tired 3 year old higher on his hip.

"Mom and dad are fighting again. I need you to take care of them, Ty."

Tyler sighed. His brothers eyes were filled with stress, and the bags under his eyes told stories of sleepless nights.

"Of course, I-" Tyler glanced to Madison, walking around the hallway of the apartment, placing her hands on the walls. "I'll take care of them. How long?"

Zack ran his hand over his face, slightly shaking his other arm out of habit, calming down a restless Jay. "I don't know. Just- At least until I know they'll be safe to come home."

Tyler's heart hurt. Hearing his barely 17 year old brother with so much maturity in his voice, maturity with something he shouldn't have to deal with.

As Tyler nodded, Zack handed Jay over into the older boy's arms. He explained that he'd already put a few bags full of his younger siblings' clothing and toys into the living room.

Zack stepped towards the door, not before kissing Madison and Jay goodbye.

Tyler stopped Zack with his voice. "Zack."

The younger boy stopped walking, and turned his head to Tyler.

"You can stay too. There's room in the guest bedroom."

"I can't, Tyler. I need to make sure they don't kill eachother."

Tyler insisted further.

"Please. It's not safe for you."

Zack just frowned and looked at the ground.

Tyler huffed, looking to the small boy in his arms and gently sweeping his messy, eyebrow sweeping hair out of his eyes.

"I promise, once I get enough money and have a steady job, I'm going to fight for custody. I promise."

Zack smiled sadly at Tyler's words and without a word, slipped out of the door.   
  
Tyler locked the door and grabbed Madison's hand with his free hand.

"Hey Maddy. How does chicken fingers and fries sound?"

The 7 year old girl smiled brightly and hugged Tyler's leg tightly.

"I love you Ty-Ty."

His heart swelled. Jay was falling asleep in his arms, and Madison was lovingly hugging his leg.

He truly loved his younger siblings as much, if not more, as he'd love his own children.

"I love you too, Mads. So, so, so much! How about you take Jay and put on some cartoons in the living room while I make supper, okay?"

The girl nodded enthusiastically and took a sleepy Jay from Tyler, helping him walk towards the couch.

Tyler went into his kitchen and rubbed his temples.

He was going to keep these children safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooTHERES THE KIDDIES NOW sorry i'm just in love with the idea of a father figure tyler. until next time ~


	5. 'scuse me, mister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating any of my stories ive just been having a shit week/month/life. but heyyy guess who passed all they classes? meeeee. enjoy the chapter.

\-------------------------------

Tyler _should not_ have stayed up until 3 o'clock. It wasn't his fault really, it was Jay and Maddy's. They put on some cartoon, and it was all about dogs with different jobs, saving people and helping the town. It was really interesting, and reruns were on until very, very late.

It didn't help that after he'd taken the children to sleep, they took up the whole bed and he had to sleep on the small, uncomfortable futon across the bedroom from the bed. He didn't know why he had a futon in his bedroom, he couldn't even remember where it came from.

As he was trying to sleep, a rustle of blankets and the pad-pad of tiny feet across the floor woke him up. It was no surprise to wake up with a sleeping Jay cuddled into Tyler, one arm around him and one thumb in his mouth.

So, at 7 o'clock this morning, Tyler was tired. Unbelievably tired.

He had to go to the hospital today, and he couldn't bring Jay and Madison with him, so he called his friend Brendon.

Brendon was wonderful with children, no matter how much he tried to hide it. He loved spending time with little ones, and before Tyler had moved out of his parents house, Brendon would always be over; whether he be playing games with the little ones or hanging out with Tyler in the basement.

The phonecall between the two looked a bit like this:

_"My mother better be having a heart attack, otherwise whoever this is is going to hang up and call me back at a more reasonable time."_

"It's me, Brendon."

_"Oh! Tyler? Why are you calling so early?"_

"Would you want to maybe come over and look after Jay and Ma-"

_"Yeah! I mean.. Sure, yeah. Why are they with you?"_

"I'll explain when you get here. Hurry up, I have work, and two sleepy little ones that will be grumpy if they don't eat soon."   
\-----------------------------------

Brendon got to Tyler's apartment, and he shuddered. It wasn't grimy, and it definitely wasn't cheap, but it had a certain vibe to it. Like something had happened there that should not have happened, or something may happen that should not happen.

When Tyler opened the door to Brendon's knocks, the brunette had on his dark blue scrubs already. A tired three year old yawned in Tyler's arm, and the faint " _Tywer_ " from inside explained the dark circles under the young boy's eyes.

Tyler gave Brendon a side hug, and Jay reached out to the raven haired boy, wanting to be passed over.

Tyler's voice was grateful as he spoke, "Thank you so much, Bren. I don't know what I would've done if I had to bring them in."

Brendon held Jay on his hip carefully, bouncing him up and down slightly. He smiled and rubbed his nose against the toddlers forehead as Jay spoke nonsense jibberish.

"Don't worry about it, Ty. You know I love spending time with them."

Tyler crossed his arms and smirked. "One day you'll have your own, I know your whole 'player' act is gonna die down. You're a natural dad."

Brendon was silent, he couldn't protest. Tyler was right.

Madison wandered into the room, and bee lined for Brendon as soon as she saw him.

"Uncle!"

Tyler smiled and gave Maddy and Jay kisses goodbye, before thanking Brendon again and leaving.

He was late.

\-----------------------------------

" _You're late_."

Josh spoke the obvious as Tyler rushed through the door with messy hair and the breakfast cart.

Tyler opened his mouth to retort, then came to a halt. His heart stopped, and thank god he worked in a hospital. He needed a doctor.

A blush came to Josh's face as Tyler stood staring at him, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open.

"What is it?"

"Your hair..."

_Trees_. After it rains, and the clouds still gloom, and the rain water sticks to the leaves. The colour that the trees are, that's the colour Josh's hair was.

And it was beautiful.

Josh raised his hand to his scalp and pulled at a lock of hair.

"Is it bad? Do I look like a leprechaun?"

Tyler shook his head and grinned, "No. It looks.. amazing."

Josh felt kickass. He wanted Tyler to like his hair, and getting that reaction out of him was a huge accomplishment. He wanted to say something witty and smart, but not too witty and smart.

"What a charmer."

Nailed it.

Tyler laughed and began his morning routine, except was he standing a bit closer while taking blood? And was he brushing his hand across Josh's like that on purpose?

Or was Josh over thinking things? Was his crush making him a bit too hopeful?

After a half hour of Tyler rushing around the room, and Josh watching him carefully, the nurse sat down in the chair next to the white and pale blue bed.

Tyler put his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes, obviously tired.

Was he awake all night? With somebody?

Josh coughed. "Tired?"

Tyler's head shot up and he stifled a yawn. "Yeah. A lot of shit happened yesterday."

Josh nodded, "Oh, right. Family stuff."

Tyler paused, thinking of what to say. He didn't exactly lie to Josh about the 'family stuff' yesterday, because there was family stuff; Tyler just hadn't known about it until after he left.

"Yeah. My brother and sister are staying with me for a while, they're kind of a handful."

Josh frowned. He missed his siblings.

"How old are they?"

"3 and 7."

Josh was surprised, he had been expecting that the youngest would be, at least, 13.

"That's a pretty big age difference."

Tyler huffed and his voice was laced with bitterness, "My parents shouldn't have had them. They don't know how to parent, my brother and I ended up raising them, _are_ ending up raising them." He sighed and closed his eyes, "I'm glad they were born though. I love them."

Josh admired Tyler so much more. So, so much more. Was there anything this boy couldn't do? He could sing, compose music, deal with a sick asshole, and look after children.

He couldn't even drink legally yet, and he was practically fathering.

Josh respected this boy so much.

"I respect you."

Tyler smiled and laughed, tilting his head a bit, "That was random."

Josh sat up straighter in his bed and stretched his arms a bit. "It's true though. I respect you so much."

Tyler blushed slightly, and smiled, baring his crooked bottom teeth.

And Josh fell for him all over again.

\-----------------------------------  
"Let's go for a walk."

Josh's eyes widened and he stopped eating his jello. He glanced over to Tyler, who was staring at him with doe eyes.

"I don't think I can, Tyler."

Tyler furrowed his brows and frowned, putting a hand on his hip, "The hell you can't. We're going for a walk," he stood up and took a step closer the Josh, laying on his bed, and leaned in close. "Outside."

Josh knew there was no arguing. Tyler was stubborn, and he would keep pushing Josh out of his comfort zone. Josh loved it.

_Josh loved Tyler._

The brunette unhooked Josh's machines and held his arm out to Josh.

The green haired boy laughed, and hooked his arm around Tyler's. After taking a few steps, Josh could feel the weakness that was to come, spending most of your time in a bed. He put more of his weight onto Tyler than he was proud to admit.

They walked through the hall, towards the elevator, and instead of pressing the up button, Tyler pushed the down.

He glanced over at Joshua and beamed, his crooked bottom teeth showcasing themselves. Josh adored his smile.

There was a ding, then the click of a main floor button being pressed, then a lurching downwards. And then, they were on the first floor, the doors leading outside just a few feet away.

Tyler walked Josh towards the door and paused before opening it,

"Are you ready?"

Was josh ready? He hadn't been outside for months, and it seemed foreign. Would he choke up on the air? Would a bird shit on his head? Josh smiled softly as he realized that yes, he was ready. He had Tyler by his side, and with Tyler, he could do anything.

"Yes."

Tyler pushed the glass door open and a warm breeze swept over Josh's face. The air smelled like a cold glass of water, if that makes sense. That's the only way Josh could explain it.

The green haired boy stepped out onto the sidewalk, spread his arms out wide, and let the soft wind kiss his skin. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, god, he really missed outside.

After a few seconds his arms felt heavy, so he put them down. Then his whole body felt heavy, so he slouched and rested a hand on his knee. Tyler was at his side in a moment, putting his arm around the boy to help him stand straight up.

Stupid lungs, not getting enough oxygen to his body.

Josh couldn't say anything. He just smiled at Tyler, his bright white teeth shining in the sun, and let the nurse help him to a seat.

They sat together on a little wooden bench, underneath a drooping cherry tree. Tyler removed his arm from around Josh once they were sat and rested his hands on his lap, staring out at everything and nothing.

Josh looked at the nurses hands. Then back to his own. And in that moment he realized it would be much better if their hands were connected. Josh grabbed Tyler's hand quickly and intertwined their fingers, a slight blush on his cheeks.

Tyler smiled and tightened his grip on Josh's hand.

"You're too cute sometimes."

Josh still couldn't talk, the moment was to surreal, so he lightly squeezed the other boy's hand.

They sat on the bench for what seemed like hours, hand in hand, watching cars come and go, until Tyler's phone rang.

He glanced towards Josh, as if asking for permission, so the younger boy nodded.

"Hello, Tyler speaking."

As the person on the other side of the line spoke, Tyler's eyes widened, then he put his head in his hand and sighed.

"Yeah, yeah okay. You can bring them here, Bren, it's fine. I'm sure it won't be a big deal." Tyler seemed very anxious as he spoke, Josh wondered what could be going on.

Tyler smiled into the phone and shook his head, rolling his eyes at whatever the other person had said. "I'll be outside waiting, B. Love you too."

Josh's face went white. Dear god. He did have a boyfriend. Why was life so unfair? Wasn't cancer enough? Couldn't Josh have the one person he wanted?

Tyler put his phone in his pocket and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly,

"Sorry about that. There was an emergency at home with the little ones, so my friend is going to bring them here." He paused. "That's not a problem, is it?"

Josh shook his head,

"No, no, not at all! I love kids."

That was a lie. Josh had no experience with children, his siblings weren't much younger than him. He didn't know if he liked kids or not.

Tyler grinned and grabbed hold of Josh's hand again, Josh felt sparks.

"Great! They're good kids, although sometimes they can be a pain."

Josh just let out a light laugh and nodded along, not sure what to say. While Tyler's hand was in his, it was hard to think up coherent thoughts.   
\-----------------------------------

" 'Scuse me, mister, why are your lips blue?"

Tyler's siblings and Brendon had arrived a short while ago, and everybody made their way up to Josh's hospital room; he needed to get ready for a radiation session.

Josh had to admit, the youngest Joseph's were absolutely adorable. Madison was seven, josh learned, and she had blond hair, which was midlength. She was a very pretty girl, and other than the hair, her and Tyler shared the same facial features.

Jay, for a 3 year old, was slightly behind in his development. He mostly crawled and could only walk with somebody's help, and he didn't speak very well. Some would say he still had 'baby talk'. Josh thought he was absolutely adorable. He had a head of fluffy black hair and he carried with him a toy soldier, and he would chew on the foot of it, even after being told not to multiple times by Tyler.

Madison sat in a chair next to Josh's bed, staring at him with wonder in her eyes. She had just asked a question, ' _scuse me sir, why are your lips blue?'_

Tyler quickly hushed the girl, whispering to her, " _Madison_ , don't be rude."

Josh shook his head and smiled at the girl, "It's okay, Tyler."

Josh turned his body towards the girl and spoke with a sweet voice,

"The reason why my lips are blue is because I'm sick."

Madison scrunched her face up into a frown. She hopped off the chair and crawled into the bed next to Josh, seemingly making herself at home. Her small hand came up and poked Josh in the cheek. Tyler went to go grab her off the bed, but Josh shook his head.

Her mousey voice spoke up, "You don't sound sick, and you don't feel sick." She still poked at the green haired boy's cheek, a look of concentration now on her face.

Josh smiled, his heart feeling warm. This girl was too precious for the world.

"The kind of sick I am is on the inside, in my lungs. Do you know what those are?"

She nodded giddily and pointed to her chest, "They're my air suppliers!"

"That's right! Good job!" As Josh finished praising her, she took his hand and held it gingerly, as if not to hurt him.

"What's wrong with your air suppliers?"

Josh thought for a moment on how he could say this, in a way that a seven year old could understand. He couldn't exactly come up with anything; how could you explain cancer to a little one?

"Well you see," Josh cleared his throat slightly, "they sucked in some air with really, really bad things in it, and the bad things started hurting them. So now my lungs are hurt, and the nice doctors and nurses, including Tyler, are trying to help my lungs get better."

A frown grew on Madison's face as Josh spoke, looking upset. "That's really sad. I hope your lungs get better."

_Precious._

"Me too, darling."   
\-----------------------------------

The little ones and Brendon left because Tyler and Josh had to go to radiation. Josh felt a bit weak, the outside air a bit harder on his lungs.

He was tired.

Tyler helped him up out of the bed, slipping his hand around his waist and gripping tightly, but sweetly. Josh had his arm up around his shoulders, and they were so close to eachother.

Tyler turned his head towards Josh, his face impossibly close. The nurse smiled sweetly, "Are you ready?"

Josh blushed and nodded, looking down to his feet. He'd been staring at Tyler's lips while he spoke, imagining kissing him again.

"Hey."

Josh peeked his head up and looked at the man, staring into his honey eyes. "Hmm?"

Tyler looked towards the door, then back to Josh. Before Josh could ask what he wanted, there was a quick peck to his lips. And then they were both red as tomatoes, making their way towards the door, and down the hall.

Arriving in the room, Dr.Way looked towards both the boys and tilted his head a bit.

"If you're not feeling up to it, this can wait, Joshua."

Josh grimaced at his full name and then let go of Tyler, making his way towards the chair. He hid the fact that his legs were almost falling out from under him. He hid the fact his lungs felt like they were burning up.

"It's okay, Doctor."

Nodding, Dr.Way turned on the machine once Josh was comfortable and smiled, "All set." he said, the wrinkles around his eyes very prominent as he smiled. "Today we'll do 15 minutes."

Josh screamed on the inside. He couldn't handle 15 minutes.

"Okay."

After that, the doctor left.

Tyler sat in one of the other two chairs, pulling out his phone and earbuds. He clicked a few things before passing one bud to Josh. Josh put it in his ear and calmed down, hearing the soft strumming of a guitar.

The voice that came through wasn't Tyler's, but it put the same feeling in his chest. His words were sweet and lingering, his voice glided over the lyrics with ease and he sounded like heaven.

"Who is this?" Josh asked, paying close attention to the voice.

"Elliott Smith," Tyler's eyes were closed as he listened; he looked content, "isn't he amazing?"

Josh stayed staring at Tyler's face, loving the way his lips moved as he silently sang along. The nurses eyelashes brushed his cheekbones, and his cheeks were a soft pink. He was complete beauty, he was completely amazing.

Josh sighed and smiled softly. _"Completely amazing."_   
\-----------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay street, fudgers


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **yall gotta know this**the Jovian-Plutonian effect was basically this huge April fools joke some asshole astronomer pulled off in the seventies. He said that at a certain time Pluto and Jupiter would be aligned with earth causing some freaky gravity shit, and if you jumped at that certain time you'd be able to float in the air.

"Tyler?" Josh's voice was suspicious. The blindfold over his eyes and the tight hold the brunette had on Josh's hand was alarming.

Even though the fabric over his eyes disabled Josh from seeing Tyler, he could tell the nurse was grinning.

"Trust me, Josh." The dainty nurse pleaded, his voice honey and vanilla and cinnamon. His grip tightened on Josh's hand, and Josh completely melted into his calloused palm.

Josh couldn't help but trust him, completely and irrevocably.

Tyler led Josh down which Josh believed to be a hallway. That was, until there was the lurching feeling of an elevator.

Josh raised his eyebrows. "Are we going outside again?"

Tyler chuckled and the lurching stopped. The green haired boy was pulled along, he stumbled a bit.

The common hospital noises subsided and Tyler closed a door behind them. Tyler let go Josh's hand, only to untie the blindfold wrapped around Josh's head. His fingers left a trail of goosebumps where they made contact with Josh's skin. The boy shuddered against his will, letting out a quick breath of air.

Tyler didn't seem to notice, as he removed the piece of fabric and tucked it into his pocket on his scrubs. Josh blinked a few times, adjusting his eyes to the light.

" _SURPRISE_!"

Josh jumped a bit, surprised by the exclamation. A group of 10 people stood in the middle of a lounge area, with balloons of all different colours surrounding them. There was a small heap of presents in one corner, and a small cake sat on a table next to the heap.

Josh turned to Tyler, grinning ear to ear, his eyes brimming with tears.

His voice was barely a whisper when he spoke,

" _You remembered."_

Tyler wiped away the tear spilling from the younger boy's eye. He smiled sweetly, his eyes honey,

"Of course I remembered."

Their moment was cut short when a little girl in a blue dress ran towards Josh, hugging his leg tightly.

"Happy Birfday, Joshie!" She yelled, still attached to his leg.

His heart ached and he bent down to the girl's level, detaching her from his leg and hugging her tightly.

"Thank you, Madison." He said softly, pulling back from the hug, "I like your dress!"

She giggled and skipped back over to the boy she was holding hands with earlier. He looked younger than Josh, but not by much. Josh wondered if this was Tyler's other brother.

A few people in the room, Josh recognized, but the others were complete strangers. Josh recognized Brendon from a week earlier, when he had brought the kids to see Tyler.

Josh also knew Debby, he hadn't seen her for a couple of weeks. Jay and Maddy were also among the people Josh knew. The rest were foreign, unknown.

Tyler put his arm around Josh's shoulders and walked him towards the group, smiling the whole while.

Debby wished Josh a happy birthday when they were in speaking range, and she introduced him to two of her friends; Hayley, a girl with fire truck red hair, and Melanie, a girl with half of her hair dyed blue, the other black.

They were both very nice, despite Hayley having an intimidating look. They both wished him happy birthday and complimented his hair.

They chatted for a while, but Tyler tugged Josh along, eager to introduce everybody else.

The duo walked towards Brendon, who had a tall brunette talking to him. Tyler kindly interrupted them and introduced the tall boy as Dallon. Tyler claimed Dallon was Brendon's boyfriend, to which the two blushed and shook their heads, Brendon hitting Tyler upside the head playfully.

Next, Tyler introduced Josh to two more boys, who were Patrick and Pete. Patrick was a small happy man, who wore a weird but suiting fedora. Pete was a taller man, with scruff that made him look older than he was.

Both were very nice, especially Patrick, and they seemed to like Josh well.

Lastly, Tyler brought him over to a boy, chastising Madison for hitting her little brother. Tyler smiled and spoke up, his voice sweet,

"Josh, this is my brother Zack. Zack, this is my _best_ friend, Josh."

Zack looked up from the little girl and smiled a toothy smile, showing off her perfect white teeth.

"Tyler talks about you a bunch, it's nice to finally meet you."

Josh glanced over to Tyler, who pursed his lips, a blush rising up his cheeks.

"It's nice to meet you too. I've heard good things about you."

The three boys all melded into a conversation the rest of the people were having, and the room was full of chatter and laughter.

Josh was truly happy, and it was all because of Tyler.   
\-----------------------

"Can i pleeeaaaase give Josh my present now?" The seven year old pleaded with her older brother, a whine to her voice.

Tyler threw his hands up in defeat, "Okay, fine Madison." He stood up from the couch beside Josh and spoke with his smooth honey voice, "Present time, everyone."

Josh blushed, hating to be the centre of attention. Madison let out a cry of joy and ran to the heap of presents, picking up a small purple box.

She sped back towards Josh and plopped down on his lap, grinning a toothy grin. One of her front teeth were missing, which made her even more adorable.

Josh grinned back and took the box from her, opening it up. Inside there was a bead bracelet, made of all the colours of the rainbow.

"I made it myself, do you like it?"

Josh put the bracelet on and smiled, his heart aching with adoration. "I love it, Maddy."

She blushed and gave Josh a kiss on the cheek, then a tight hug.

Josh missed his own siblings dearly, missed the way they looked up to him as if he were the greatest person in the universe. Being with Madison had made him remember his dear sister Abigail, made him remember the love he felt for her.

Josh felt that same love with Madison, and he would think of her as a little sister now. He'd love her and protect her, just as he would with Abigail.

Josh tightened the hug, before ending it and letting Maddy jump off his lap.

Next Zack came over, giving Josh a piece of paper and a gift bag. On the paper was a drawing Jay drew, which looked like a potato with green hair and brown eyes. Josh loved it. In the bag was a pair of earbuds, they looked the same as Tyler's.

The gifts kept coming, and Josh loved all of them. Debby got him a bleach and dye kit, along with a promise to do his hair with him again. Hayley got him a CD from the band Bleachers. Melanie got him a CD from the band Florence + the Machine.

Dallon got Josh a SnapBack, claiming you couldn't go wrong with hats, and Brendon had gotten Josh a brown paper bag, full of condoms and bottles of lube.

When Josh opened Brendon's present his face flushed a bright red and he glared and the older boy, who just gave a shrug and a discreet wink.

Recovering from the embarrassment, the green haired boy opened more presents.

From Patrick he received a jacket made of leather and camo denim. Pete gave him a grey beanie, saying it would go well with the green hair.

He thanked everybody for the wonderful presents, eyes threatening to tear up the whole time. It felt like forever since he'd had a birthday party with friends and people who cared for him.

He was grateful to have friends, they made his life less horrible. With them around, Josh wasn't ' _Joshua Dun, cancer patient in room 307_ '; he was ' _Josh Dun, friend who just so happens to have cancer'._

Tyler grabbed onto his hand, pulling him out of his thoughts. Everybody else chatted among themselves, laughing at Brendon's present and questioning eachother how they decided on what to get.

Tyler leaned in close to Josh, speaking right next to his ear. The brunettes hot breath on his neck made Josh quiver.

"You'll get your presents from me later."

As Tyler pulled away, Josh nodded with closed eyes, trying to calm his breathing.

The nurse cleared his throat and grabbed Madison from where she was standing, pulling her into his lap.

"Cake time!!" They yelled together, and Josh giggled at their synchronized voices. After a "Jinx! You owe me a soda!" Escaped their lips at the same time, they laughed together and Josh completely melted once more.

Tyler was Josh's oxygen, whether he knew it or not.

And Josh would breathe him in and out until the day his heart stopped beating.

Which might be sooner than expected.   
\------------------------

As Josh hugged the last person to leave, Patrick, he was getting more and more nervous about what Tyler had in store for him next.

Tyler rubbed his hands together giddily, his honey eyes wide and bright. His voice was slightly squeaky, from the excitement presumably.

"It's almost time, are you ready?"

Josh shrugged and looked down at his sweatpants and plain black tshirt.

"I don't really have any fancy clothes, will sweats do?"

Tyler shook his head with a smile and took Josh's hand in his own.

"I'm not talking about your clothes, silly."

Josh stared at him with a questioning look, if it wasn't his clothes, what was it?

"Oh my goodness, you precious soul. I'm talking about mentally!" A smirk slid across his lips, "Are you ready to have the _most amazing birthday in existence?"_

Josh blushed as he chuckled.

"You've already given me the best birthday. Even though it's a day early-"

Tyler cut in, "That was part of the plan! You just wait, Joshua William Dun. Once you see what I've got planned you'll be _all_ over me."

Josh blushed harder. _I'd sure like to be all over you._

Instead of responding, he stood blushing, looking sheepishly at his and Tyler's interlocked hands.

Tyler checked the time on his phone, grinning when he looked at the screen.

"It's time."

The brunette unhooked the piece of fabric from his jeans, the blindfold from earlier, and tied it around Josh's head again, covering his eyes.

Josh let Tyler drag him around, wherever he was going. They went around what seemed like halls and halls, an elevator, and more halls. Josh's legs were beginning to hate how large the hospital was.

Tyler stopped abruptly, letting go of Josh's hand momentarily, just to grab back on it. He led Josh through a door and Josh felt a cool breeze on his skin.

Tyler took off the blindfold after a door banged shut behind them, and Josh gasped at the sight.

They were on the west wing's roof. There were fairy lights hanging all around, surrounding a small set up consisting of a fuckton of blankets and pillows, and bags of Taco Bell piled up.

Josh looked over to Tyler, tears spilling out of his eyes. He looked back and forth between the boy and the setup, salt water streaming down his face in streaks.

He was speechless.

But then he found his voice.

"Tyler... I- _Oh my god_...This is beautiful."

Josh walked up to the fairy lights, dragging his fingers across them. He stared in awe at everything.

Tyler smiled, walking to Josh and pulling him into a hug.

"I thought you'd like this."

Josh nodded enthusiastically into Tyler's shoulder, tears staining the other boy's shirt.

Tyler lifted Josh's chin with a concerned look on his face.

"Why are you crying?"

Josh cried even harder as soon as Tyler spoke. He stuttered as he spoke, hiccuping.

"I- I ju- just love this s- _so mu- much_." A sob escaped his mouth as he finished and Tyler pulled him back into the hug, chuckling.

"There, there." The brunette said with humour in his voice, patting his head.

He pulled Josh down to sit on the blankets, pulling a chalupa out of the bag. He handed it to Josh, and Josh took it gratefully. His stomach grumbled when the delicious smell wafted.

"You like Taco Bell?"

Josh nodded, his mouth too full of the heavenly food for him to respond.

"Good, because when you get out of here, we're going to the nicest Taco Bell in the USA."

Josh laughed around his full mouth and quickly chewed and swallowed so he could say something.

His voice was confident and unwavering.

"That sounds very romantic. Where is this infamous TB?"

Tyler laid down on the blankets, keeping his eyes on Josh as the green haired boy ate.

"Pacifica, CA, baby!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms above his head, causing Josh to laugh.

Finishing the Mexican food, Josh threw the wrapper away from him and laid down next to Tyler, staring at the stars.

"If I get out of here."

"What?" Tyler asked, confused.

Josh sighed, then repeated.

" _If_ I get out of here, Tyler. _If_. Not _when_."

Tyler frowned and sat up, crossing his arms.

"Stop that, Joshua!" Tears brimmed the nurses eyes, and Josh sat up, not liking the way Tyler looked with glossy eyes.

It was silent for a moment, and Tyler broke the silence. As he spoke, his voice cracked.

"Won't you just be happy with me? Won't you just understand I want to be with you? _Won't you just live for me?"_

Josh leaned towards the boy, cupping his hand around his cheek.

"I _will_ live for you, Tyler."

Josh then pulled Tyler back down, laying closer to him than before.

"I'm sorry, Ty."

The other boy just held onto Josh's hand, squeezing it lightly in response. Josh glanced over to him, to find that the dainty brunette was already staring straight at him.

"Stop staring," Josh whined, covering his face, "the moon is prettier."

Tyler rolled closer to Josh and let out a whisper.

"But, Josh, I think you'd beat the moon in a pretty contest."

Josh blushed, and Tyler smiled, showcasing his dimple. The brown haired boy checked his phone, and the time read 11:59.

Tyler caressed Josh's cheek, leaning in close to the boy. Josh's heart skipped a beat. _Or two. Or four._

Tyler traced the shape of Josh's jaw, his nose, his cheekbones, his lips.

He counted to 30 in his head, tracing every part of Josh's beautiful face.

And then it was 12:00.

Tyler's lips reached Josh's, sweetly, tenderly, and then Jupiter and Pluto were aligned with earth.

_They were floating_.

Josh's hands slid around Tyler's neck, and he brought his lips even harder onto his own.

Neither came up for a breath of air, they were each others oxygen.

The kiss stayed tender; Tyler wouldn't push Josh into anything, and Josh wouldn't push Tyler into anything.

All they needed right now was each others lips, and that was perfectly enough for both.

Eventually the duo's lungs cried for air, and their kiss ended, but the love did not.

They stayed in their position, staring into eachothers eyes, finding galaxies upon galaxies.

Tyler's honey voice slid over the words smoothly,

_"Happy 18th Birthday, Joshua William Dun."_

The stars shone bright, and the two connected their lips once more.

_Bliss_.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're welcome chicken nugget bitchez. 
> 
> stay street.

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh it's not even that sad yet and the tears are flowing already. im emotional. bear with me.


End file.
